Dear John, fourth entry

John

You wrote:

I was now led to look seriously at the means by which I was drawn from the pure truth, and learned that if I would live such a life as the faithful servants of God lived, I must not go into company as heretofore in my own will, but all the cravings of sense must be governed by a Divine principle. 

That helps me in my addictions and back slidings.  It’s kind of like where I’d like my rule making with the news to end up.  When I’m touching a newspaper currently, I don’t have the faculty to discern the governing of a Divine principle.

While I silently ponder on that change wrought in me, I find no language equal to convey to another a clear idea of it. I looked upon the works of God in this visible creation, and an awfulness covered me. My heart was tender and often contrite, and universal love to my fellow-creatures increased in me. 

I sense some of what you write about, but I’m left wondering how it compares in my life with what you found.  The world’s language is not easily bent to describing inward states of emotion, let alone those of spiritual understanding.  Your passage here is clearest in speaking about the emotional (awe) and practical (universal love) fruits of the changes in your heart.  That is often what we are left to do, given the inadequacies of our expressive gifts and the languages we use.

Thanks again.  Each time I leave off reading your journal, I am reverent, eager to understand more and curious about the inward states you speak of.